When someone is disappointed with you, here’s why.
It’s what we do. We dream up pictures about the way the world could be and we try to make it so.
We also believe that the closer the world is, the closer reality is to the way that we have dreamed it, the happier and better we will get to feel.
So when someone has created a picture of you and your behavior, and then you deviate from that vision, that person experiences intense disappointment.
Disappointment is the emotion that any human experiences when their dream and their reality don’t match in the current moment.
Do you see how up until this point, their disappointment is not about you at all? And yet here you are, feeling like you are bad or wrong because someone else is disappointed in you because you don’t match their imaginary version of you.
They’re disappointed because they imagined a version of you…and you deviated from their imagination. Since you can’t anticipate what everyone close to you will ever imagine (and since imagination is ARBITRARY!) you are GOING to disappoint some people.
And since people BELIEVE that their happiness comes from making life MATCH their arbitrary picture of it…
…they are going to want to change you. So THEY can be happy.
You’re going to want to do the same thing.
But you don’t have to.
So tell your inner asshole to sit down and have a cookie, and check out my next reel on IG for what I believe is a God-honoring, self-affirming way to handle somebody else’s disappointment.