TOP FOUR REASONS you are unable to change your negative thoughts!
Belief changes everything…but what happens when you can’t get your beliefs to change???
When you first understand, I mean really get it that you can change your whole life by changing what you purposefully think about, the first thing you’re going to want to do is go out and change all of your negative thoughts to something overwhelmingly positive.
And I say, go for it. See how many of them you are willing to let go. But I also want you to prepare yourself because some of those negative thoughts have suction-cupped themselves to your psyche and you may need a little help pulling them off of there.
But why is this? Why do we get stuck in our beliefs even if we can see they are not serving us?
There are many reasons, but here are some of the main ones.
1. Childhood trauma
The belief you’re trying to give up is a product of a traumatic event in your childhood. You may need to revisit that event and re-parent yourself.
2. Iceberg/tabletop belief (surface level)
The belief you’re trying to change is actually the tip of the iceberg and it has many supporting beliefs underneath it that you will need to individually dismantle.
3. Confirmation vias
Confirmation bias, your brain hates being wrong. It does not want to put out the energy to reopen a closed case.
4. Automatic/habit thoughts
It may just be a habit, pure and simple.
We’ll dive deeper into this topic in June and July, but for now, here’s what I want you to know:
THERE IS ALWAYS A REASON.
It is NEVER that you have reached the end of your capacity to change.
It is ALWAYS that there is a piece of yourself that is BEGGING to be understood, and you haven’t yet given that piece of yourself the gift of unhurried time, attention, and compassion.
Part of the reason coaching has so dramatically changed my life is that it GUARANTEED me this time and attention, so I was truly able to unpack and alter my beliefs so that they matched what was TRUE and USEFUL to me.
If you want to start doing this for yourself, I invite you to take a situation in which you feel stuck and ask yourself “if I felt curious about this, what would I ask myself?”
Then stay with yourself until you uncover something interesting and useful 🙂
Hit me up.