I can PROVE that all problems are thought problems.
I can give you some dang good evidence, at least.
Let’s work with an example that ought to hit pretty close to home:
“I can’t remember anything.”
That’s just a LEGIT PROBLEM, right? A crappy thing we have to deal with, fueled by ADHD.
Actually, no. It’s a thought problem.
In about a million different ways.
Let me give you ten:
1. This is an incredible generalization. You can’t remember ANYTHING? Nothing AT ALL?? If you CAN, then the statement changes to a couple new statements:
– “I can remember SOME THINGS” and
– “I can’t remember SOME THINGS.”
2. If you CAN remember SOME things, but you are not asking yourself WHAT those “some things” are and HOW you have been able to remember them, then you are not gathering enough data to solve a problem. Changing that starts with deciding to find out (thought).
3. If you are thinking you CAN’T remember some things…you are actively thinking one of the most damaging thoughts POSSIBLE: a thought that creates a FEELING OF IMPOSSIBILITY. Our brains WILL NOT let us make whole-hearted attempts to solve problems that it believes we CANNOT solve for one reason or another. So JUST believing you CAN’T might be THE ACTUAL REASON YOU AREN’T ABLE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
4. If you start to believe you CAN believe…well…just about anything you want…then the question arises:
“What do you WANT to remember?”
Because there is a LOT of stuff headed your way every day. Millions of data points. Hundreds of emails. Lots of quick reminders made by coworkers and loved ones. 35 GAZILLION snack requests made by your TWO toddlers.
Best guess – you haven’t decided what you want to remember. You haven’t sifted the possibilities and chosen. Which means your brain is still trying to remember literally ALL of it. Doing pretty okay with those parameters, too, bless her heart.
5. If you know what you WANT to remember, and figure out what you CAN remember already, and how you are doing that, and believe you might also be able to remember the rest of what matters, you will likely encounter THIS:
“But I don’t know how.”
“But nothing has worked in the past.”
These are couch sitter thoughts. They paralyze us. Keep us from TRYING something, evaluating it, and trying again. Keep us from DOING WHAT WE DO KNOW. Keep us from realizing we have gained information we didn’t have in the past, and therefore are primed and ready to try FOR REAL.
6. If you try something new in an attempt to remember something important, and it doesn’t work IMMEDIATELY, you have the thought,
“See? I knew I couldn’t do it.”
“I don’t even know why it didn’t work, it just didn’t.”
That’s a problem. Because this is PRECISELY the right time to figure out what you NEED to make this strategy work. But your brain has moved you into failure mode, and you are too busy licking your wounds to notice that you really can learn from what happened.
7. You believe that you HAVE to remember everything WITH JUST YOUR BRAIN in order to reach some bizarre standard of enoughness. Like every other normal, useful, successful person on the planet uses their magical neurotypical brains to remember the thousands of things they have going on. BUT FIRST OFF…they don’t! They use systems! They only have to remember a FEW things:
a. what they want to remember
b. what to do with incoming data they want to remember
c. when to do it
d. when to review it
8. …and second off: ENOUGHNESS is not something you are granted when you are finally like everyone else. Or when you do enough STUFF. Or (fill in the blank.) It’s what you got when Christ died on the cross. If you BELIEVED you were enough, and FELT it…how would that impact your ability to decide what to do with this remembering conundrum?
9. I can’t believe you made it this far. Good job.
10. I could keep going but this is getting complicated.
OKAY END RANT.
Listen. You can solve any problem. You can create any result. With the brain you have.
But not with the thoughts you have.
I want to help you create new ones.
And learn that you are enough as is.
AND ALSO that you can for sure remember what matters.
Or any other struggle that ADHD has made challenging.
If you want to work with me to go deep into the thoughts you are having that are causing problems in your life, I have a limited time offer:
$5,000 for 6 months of 1:1 coaching, or
$2,500 for 6 months of split/buddy coaching.
Come learn about it TODAY (July 6th) at noon Eastern time.
This will not be a sales call – it will be information ONLY. If you WANT to take me up on the offer, there will be additional steps required 🙂
See you soon!