The ADHD temptation to want to be DONE more than we want be DOING!

Focusing on done, on getting done, instead of on the doing and enjoying the doing, is essentially a micro version of focusing on death and dying and being over, having your life be over, rather than focusing on living.

Done is important. Done is really important. We need “done”. We need the dopamine that’s involved with that, but if you are trying to be done with this task and done with this day and done with this phase of life and done with this job and done, just lots of done, most likely what you’re doing is you are focusing on the done and letting that fuel your desire.

I want the dopamine and the satisfaction of done so much that I’m going to do this task. But that is problematic because that means your energy is going to be amped up anytime you have a problem that keeps you from getting done.

It’s going to be so laser-focused on done that you’re using that heightened energy to get through instead of enjoying what you are doing. Or if it’s not enjoyable, instead of taking the time to creatively problem-solve and find a more enjoyable way to do what you’re doing.

So if you’re not enjoying your day, take the time to stop and go, wait a minute, what would make this so much better? How could I have more fun? How could I find what’s good? Instead of  “let’s just get this over with”. You don’t want to do that with your life. I know you don’t. So let’s stop doing that in our small moments too.

How to USE “done” but not focus on it:

1. Define the task at hand. Folding laundry, exercising,
getting a job.

2. Decide how much of that task needs to be done:

A. This month
B. This week
C. Today
D. Right now.

3. Set timers to start and end THAT portion of the task.

4. Before you start, decide on a different focus than DONE. If the point of dishes isn’t done, what could it be? TIME ALONE TO THINK. 

If the point of exercise isn’t DONE, what could it be? To have fun dancing.

If the point of job searching isn’t done, what could it be? Meeting people, improving my communication skills, stepping out in faith.

Find a better focus. Your energy will thank you.

Xoxo,
Jessica