Since you have the ability to choose what you think, which is only possible if you regulate your emotions, you need to decide what thoughts are the most useful for you to think.
The thoughts that are the most valuable to you are the ones that will make you bulletproof, insulated against, or impervious to any changing circumstances that happen in your life.
So I’ve got a negative example first and then one that actually does its job:
The negative example is a thought like “This should have worked already.” Notice that you can have and believe this thought without ever stopping to ask yourself: “How do I know that? Who said that? How long should it take to work? What skills would I need for it to work in that amount of time?”
A lot of your habitual thoughts are actually unsupported. If you believe this one, when life gets tough—like when you’re tired, on your period, your child has an accident, or you’re lacking a skill—you won’t be able to solve the problem because the thought “This should have worked by now” drains your energy and leads to quitting.
A thought that is impervious to circumstances changing would be something like “Every day for the next three months, I believe that this will work. When it doesn’t, I will take five minutes to guess what would make it work tomorrow.”
Now, when it goes wrong, you’re actually set up to make it better, which your ADHD brain is really good at.
P.S. Write ten thoughts about yourself down and then ask if they would HELP you reach your goals if:
1. Someone criticized your choices
2. You didn’t get the result you wanted in 2-3 weeks
3. You failed
4. You feel bad/resistant towards the task in front of you
5. You realize you took on too many commitments
6. Other circumstantial changes??
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Xoxo,
Jessica ????
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